Perfectionism isn’t a good thing

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The sun is finally out – and I’m so thrilled about that.  It’s been a brutal winter here in Chicago and I’ve got to say, I’ve not really enjoyed that part of moving back here at all.  I think I actually might have a version of Seasonal Affective Disorder – although it seems like it’s just the trendy affliction to have, but my mood is so much more bright when the weather starts turning.

Last week was difficult – I just could not be happy, and actually felt rather depressed.  This is hard for me, as I am a generally optimistic/happy person so when I’m in the dumps, I have an extremely hard time dealing with that.  So, I do what any geek would do – I asked my twitter peeps (“tweeps”) what they do when they’re down in the dumps.  And because my geek-fu is not as strong as others, this posted to my facebook as well – which I didn’t want to do. I mean – my MOTHER and my DAD are on facebook, and who wants them to see that?

Turns out, I got a wealth of information, help and positive comments from both places, but got more on facebook.  And I also learned a valuable lesson – one I’m still learning:  asking for help is not a BAD thing.  It’s not admitting you failed, it’s admitting you’re human.  I need to keep remembering this as I have a disease of my own: perfectionism.

I’m not sure if it’s nature or nurture, but I definitely felt the need to be the perfect girl when I was younger, and have the need to control everything in my life.  I’m now realizing the hard way that while this might have been something that helped me get where I am today, it’s really not helping me now – it’s actually harming me.  Or at the very least, not helping me to get where I want to be in the near future.  I’m tired of being single; I want someone other than my (wonderful) dog to share my life with. 

But that means admitting I’m not perfect and being able to share that with other people, because really, no one wants to live with perfect, and perfect really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

perfectionism, seasonal affective disorder, depression